- May 30th, 2007, 4:39 pm
#87675
BJ - I want you to know that I read your post last week and have burdened for you since finding it. I have no idea who you are - except that you are a fellow LU alum and/or student. I think there was a BJ Williams when I was there but I get the idea you are not the same one. Nonetheless, I wanted to share with you what God has layed on my heart the past few days.
My heart breaks for you, as I know (first hand) how depression feels. For the most part I am a smiling, happy, upbeat person. But, about 10 years ago, I was at the bottom of the pit. Had I of gone to a dr. I am postive they would have admitted me or put me under their care immediately. But, like you, I had no insurance. My family was 650 miles away and I had few things to cling to. Luckily I had a couple of friends who stood by me and I had a relationship with Jesus Christ - a bit on shaky ground - but praise God, I had a father in heaven who is know as the God of second chances. I believe that sometimes God takes us to the pits where we have no other place, but to look up.
I found myself laying in bed, day after day staring at the celing and ultimately in the face of God. I was smart enough to know or sense that God had taken me to this place because He wanted to teach me something. My prayer hour after hour, day after day, week after week was "Lord, what do you want to teach me or what do you want me to learn?" I picked up self-help book after self-help book trying to find the answer...but God used the words of my good friend, Keith Hatcher, to point me in the right direction. He would say, "Cheryl, all you need is God's word...every answer to life is on the pages of this book!" I FINALLY picked up my NIV copy of the Women's Daily Devotional Bible (I believe there is a Men's Version which would be more apporpriate for you) and I claimed the verse "Pray without ceasing." I'd ask God to show me something He wanted to teach me. As hokey as it might sound, I would simply pick up my bible and begin reading - maybe flip through a page or two until I found a devotional or a verse that may or may not have been familiar...but I am here to tell you that God's hand led me more times than I can remember. I remember very few times (if any) when God didn't reveal Himself to me in some way. I know that may sound rediculous to some people, but when you are truly seeking God, He WILL meet you! Another verse that God revealed to me one day was "This poor may cried out and the Lord heard him and saved him from all his misery." The day I read that I was not immediately healed, but I knew God was listening and I claimed His promise that He would save me. I trusted Him for His perfect timing.
I'm not here to tell you that it is an easy road, but I am here to tell you that if you seek God, you Will find Him and He WILL hold you, and walk with you, and lead you as you travel it. He uses these situations to make you a stronger person. I recently read something called the "teacup story" to a group of women at a church function that beautifully illustrated this point. It's a little too long to post here, but I'd be happy to send it to you if you want.
BJ, like I said before, I don't know you but I feel very burdened to pray for you. My prayer is that you seek God and that He reveals Himself to you. I'm also praying that maybe there is someone in Lynchurg that you can stay with this summer that would mentor you and help you walk through this. If nothing else - communicate with God and the recipe for that is prayer (you talking) but most importantly reading His word (you listening) - that is one of the greatest ways He speaks to us.
Maybe this season (the summer) is time for you to step away from some of your social obligations and friends and to focus on seeking God - Liberty Mountain is one of the most majestic places to sit and focus on our creator. Just remember this, God didn't send His son to die on the cross so that you would suffer - and that includes mental anguish. He wants you to live a full and abundant life....I promise you, if you seek Him, you Will find Him.
One final thing - when I suffered through my time (about 6 months) I asked God to allow me to use my situation to help others. In the last 10 years, I have been able to give God all the glory in His healing of me. I pray the same for you.
If there is anything specifically that I can pray for you, please let me know. As a stay at home mom, I think I'm beginning to realize my job not only includes raising babies, but praying for those around me. I've added you to the list on my microwave!
May I also say that since I don't know you and I'm not there to see you in person, if you do need medical help, please by all means go talk to the drs on campus, or your old psych teacher or someone in that field and get some help. I am positive that there are some connections on campus that can get you help even if you have no $$.
Your LU Sister
- By Humble_Opinion