[alabama24]

The issue is this: I have no problems with the father taking the day off... But what about the fans who planned to attend that day? Also, it obviously wasn't the first choice football wise. Would I say the same thing if he had a different profession? Yep. If he were a summer fisherman, no summer wedding. Are you an artist who has sold tickets for a concert? No wedding that day. She is a SPOILED brat. It really is that simple.

[Yacht Rock]

Yeah...I'm always going to put my family first ahead of my job or fishing or whatever.

I don't think my daughter should have to worry about my job someday when she gets married. It would be pretty messed up for me to say, "Hey sweetie, I know you have a lot to worry about right now but...be sure to worry about my job too. Oh, I know you didn't pick my career or anything but I want you to have to make sure that whatever you're doing for your wedding fits in with my schedule.

LOL

Big deal about the fans. Personally if one dad can show his daughter that she's more important than a football game, then I don't care how many fans can get upset. If they get upset about that then they really need to get a life.

If a Liberty game got rescheduled for something similar, I wouldn't care in the least, even if it meant I had to miss it.

Obviously some of you seem to think that kids should never ask anything of their parents or think that the game of football is more important than it really is. For me this coach set a good example for his players by establishing the idea that "Hey guys, this is just a game and family comes first." I hope some of his players keep that in mind as they get older and have children.

[ATrain]

Yep, Heaven forbid my parents take a day off work to come to VA Beach for my wedding next Sunday evening.

[JK37]

The flaw in your argument YR is that you're presuming the date and/or location are immovable. You're also never going to convince me that just because the daughter asks, she should receive. The parent, in paying for the event, has every right to control every element of the event. If the daughter wants a say in the day, then let her pay.

[Purple Haize]

None of this would be an issue if they got married in Vegas. Just sayin

[flamesfilmguy]

My wife planned her wedding around football season because of my job despite wanting to have a fall wedding. I have zero sympathy. She can work around venue availability and date. I think it was a steep request to ask her dad to move a football game that involved several thousand other people. I won't go so far as to say she's a spoiled brat because i can't understand the motive behind it but i do think its a ridiculous request. Some jobs are seasonal. I know MANY coaches wives who would tell this chick you better just plan on a May or December wedding.

[Yacht Rock]

1. No one should have to worry about everyone else's schedule when planning their wedding.

2. As a father, paying for my daughter's wedding is a gift. The more strings you put on a gift the less of a gift it becomes.

3. My wife and I don't spoil our kids. There are many things my daughter doesn't have that her friends have that we just say "No" to because it's the right thing.

4. There are times of the year (like right now) where I have to be at work to support a business that makes a heck of a lot more money and impacts a heck of a lot more people than a football game. However, if mg kid was getting married, it would be game over. I would worry about my child if she didn't ask me to accommodate. I would never want her to think my job is more important than how she wanted to have her wedding day.

Yes, the location and date of the wedding can move but obviously, the game was moveable too so it's not a big deal.

Someday when my kids get married, I know I won't be able to write them a blank check for anything they want and don't think it is wise to do that. But, if it is within my ability to help do something for that one day, I will do what I can to make it happen before jumping to "No."

Maybe you guys are threatened that this has demonstrated that football games aren't an immovable force or are worried the same will be asked of you someday. I don't get it.

[Yacht Rock]

The parent, in paying for the event, has every right to control every element of the event. If the daughter wants a say in the day, then let her pay.

Wow. I pray you don't have daughters. I thought I was a control freak but statements like that make me sad that there are parents out there that think this way.

[ATrain]

None of this would be an issue if they got married in Vegas. Just sayin

We got our license signed at Starbucks in DC. Much cheaper than flying to Vegas.

And I'm still in agreement with YR on this one.

[jbock13]

If the daughter wants a say in the day, then let her pay.

Nice rhyme

[flamehunter]

What if her fiance was a football player? Would she still be OK to insist on the date she wanted, even if he had a game that day? I think she would accommodate his schedule, as she should have her father's.

[olldflame]

I was with JK 37 right up to the point where he said the parents should have control over every aspect. I think the bride should be given almost total leeway, but no
the parents who are paying for it should be able to veto something they feel is unreasonable.

The more I look at the decisions and demands of the daughter in this matter the more I think this goes beyond just the actions of a spoiled child. It reeks to me of passive aggressiveness. I would not be the least surprised to discover that the moment she decided this venue was the only place she could have her wedding was the exact moment she realized if she had it there her father would probably have to miss a football game to attend it.

[Purple Haize]

None of this would be an issue if they got married in Vegas. Just sayin

We got our license signed at Starbucks in DC. Much cheaper than flying to Vegas.

And I'm still in agreement with YR on this one.

But not nearly as fun! Besides you could have had your bachelor party here:

http://www.thegaragelv.com/

[ATrain]

PH - doesn't look anywhere near as fun as The Garage in Norfolk. I just wanted my coffee so I was alert and oriented to make sure I said "I do."

Anyway, reading the article again it seems she just fell in love with the venue for some reason and her dad accomodated her. Boohoo to those who had to make alternate travel arrangements just to watch a football game.

[olldflame]

PH - doesn't look anywhere near as fun as The Garage in Norfolk. I just wanted my coffee so I was alert and oriented to make sure I said "I do."

Anyway, reading the article again it seems she just fell in love with the venue for some reason and her dad accomodated her. Boohoo to those who had to make alternate travel arrangements just to watch a football game.

The reason she fell in love with the venue is obvious.

[JK37]

I'm not a control freak. I'm just not driven primarily by my emotions. I also work in Division I athletics, as does my father and my sister. Someone said earlier that those of us who take issue with the daughter's insistence on having the event her way, wouldn't feel the same if it wasn't concerning football, and in a way that's true. Working in collegiate athletics is a different world, and it's possible that if one hasn't done it, they may not understand the inherent differences that come along with it.

My best friend in college was married two years after we graduated together. She wanted me in the wedding. It was held on a Saturday in November, so I wasn't able to go. And I didn't even give it a second thought. Many people would call that an improper order of priorities, but those are also people who either don't work in collegiate athletics, or who won't for very long. That's just the way it is, and I don't blame those on the outside for not understanding. But I was born into it, and I chose to continue in it. That's just the way it is.

YR, you can stop praying: I have a daughter. And when she desires to get married, she'll understand that seeking to do so between the months of October and March presents many inherent and potentially insurmountable conflicts.

Olldflame, what you described in practice is probably closer to what I believe and a better way to say it. I couldn't pass up a great rhyme! I want to give my daughter everything she wants. But as I am paying, I reserve the right of veto power.

[Sly Fox]

I am with you, jk37. My wife & I didn't even consider a Saturday in the fall for our own wedding. When our planning began, we didn't even need to verbally bring up the fact that 12 Saturdays in the fall were off the table. I too missed out being a best man in a wedding years ago because my buddy's wife insisted on an October wedding.

Is it really that difficult to show consideration to someone you love to not put them in such a terrible position? There are over 40 other Saturdays in the year to schedule a wedding.

And for the record, I have two daughters who I love more than life itself. But if I were still in my old career, they would have known better than to put me in that position.

[BJWilliams]

When my wife and I were discussing a date for our wedding, we expressly tried to avoid scheduling in October because of the fact of football season...of course who knew that from the time we set our date (August 18) to the actual day of the wedding, the football team would create the Fan Fest and it would be starting right as our reception was wrapping up.

[Yacht Rock]

Like I said, confused priorities.

If I have to make my job bend or my daughter bend, I will look first to have my job bend every single time. Sometimes you can make it happen sometimes you can't, but trying is never going to hurt.

I work in an industry that makes a heck of a lot more money than D1 athletics and has a far greater impact on a wider range of people but that doesn't change how I feel. At the end of the day, my children shouldn't have to really consider my career when planning their life events. It would be selfish of me to expect that. Love requires sacrifice and while that can be turned around on a child and you can say they should sacrifice for the parent, at the end of the day I can only control how I show my children/wife/etc that I love them. That means I'm not afraid to step up and take a sacrifice for my family. Demonstrating sacrificial love will set an example and last longer than any career ever will.

Obviously we will have to agree to disagree. I do pray that someday if you are put in a similar position with your children, you have the courage to make a sacrifice for them and not choose to only worry about your own wants and needs.

[Purple Haize]

Or maybe you teach your children to consider someone else's wants and needs.


Or go to Vegas and tick everyone off except your degenerate Uncles!

[JK37]

How much can I care for my child if I lose my place in my career? And don't begin to question my faith. Your talk of courage is cheap and your insinuations regarding an unwillingness on my part to sacrifice for my child are insulting. My position has absolutely nothing to do with the quantity of people affected, nor the money generated. Stop it with the straw man arguments. You and your kind don't understand, and I very graciously gave to that end. I don't expect you to understand the expectations placed on those working in our industry.

[Purple Haize]

Coaching is a different bird all together. It is a set specific season. There are a finite number of games. If this was during recruiting season or even Sprong Practive I can see skipping. But The Season is a pretty firm immovable thing. Not every (or any) coach can move games on a whim. I'm glad this guy could. But to question why someone in the profession wouldn't or couldn't shows a lack of understanding.

[olldflame]

Let's make something clear here. The choice this coach faced was not between his daughter and football. It was between his career and a very specific and what many might say was unreasonable request on her part.

[JK37]

Agreed with all three of you - Sly, PH, and olldflame

[ATrain]

Like I said, confused priorities.

If I have to make my job bend or my daughter bend, I will look first to have my job bend every single time. Sometimes you can make it happen sometimes you can't, but trying is never going to hurt.
I work in an industry that makes a heck of a lot more money than D1 athletics and has a far greater impact on a wider range of people but that doesn't change how I feel. At the end of the day, my children shouldn't have to really consider my career when planning their life events. It would be selfish of me to expect that. Love requires sacrifice and while that can be turned around on a child and you can say they should sacrifice for the parent, at the end of the day I can only control how I show my children/wife/etc that I love them. That means I'm not afraid to step up and take a sacrifice for my family. Demonstrating sacrificial love will set an example and last longer than any career ever will.

Obviously we will have to agree to disagree. I do pray that someday if you are put in a similar position with your children, you have the courage to make a sacrifice for them and not choose to only worry about your own wants and needs.

+1

Oh yeah, I used to work in Division I athletics. I get it...but there are some things that are above games. Family is one of them.