[Rocketfan]

I started this thread, if you want to know my name PM me and ill be happy to discuss any and all of its contents at anytime.

[LUconn]

who's in the what now?

[therealbodoyle]

SJ that picture was great. She looked good from the back.

[Liberty Couples The Novel]

Liberty Couples - Wimps Who Can't Man Up

Chapter 1 - Introduction


In the fall of 2007, FlameFans.com 2007 Poster of the Year Nominee SuperJon was going into his senior year at Liberty University. One of the classes on his plate that year was biology, a class he hated but couldn't put off any longer. Five weeks into class, he made a post on FlameFans that would forever live in infamy. On Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 11:20am, SuperJon wrote:

Ok, I'm complaining. Don't like it, get over it.

There is this couple that sits in front of me in biology class, and the ENTIRE time before class starts, they turn towards each other and stare into each other's eyes with these big goofy grins on their faces, rubbing each other's arms and hands and crap like that. Even while class is going on, in between taking notes, they sit there rubbing each other and staring at each other. I seriously want to stab them with my car keys. It's freaking ridiculous. It's beyond distracting it's so annoying.

Little did he know that that post would spawn what would become one of the greatest threads in the history of FlameFans.com.

After eight replies and multiple jokes, SuperJon made his next move. Whipping out his cell phone, he took a picture of the couple and posted it. Four minutes later, a poster named LUconn made the following remark:

ha, that dude is being made fun of on the internet and he doesnt even know it. I wonder if somebody's got a picture of me doing something somewhere on the internet.

What ensued afterwards were jokes about the couples and suggestions as to what SuperJon could do to get them to stop. One poster even used what is called an "emoticon" to symbolize that he was throwing up. After reading the suggestions, SuperJon made one of his own.

I think the best thing to do is take pictures every class and post them on here til someone he knows tells him.

What had started with making fun of the couple turned into making fun of the shirt that the male in the picture was wearing. Poster "bigsmooth" suggested that his fellow posters turn the picture into a "Caption This" episode, which is where one member posts a picture and other members post witty captions underneath it.

After a brief game of "Caption This," News and Advance beat writer Chris Lang chimed in saying that if this had taken place at Virginia Tech, "the guy wouldn't be staring at her eyes."

A board member from Denver, Colorado who called himself "scuzdriver" presented the question of "who's wearing the pants in that relationship?" One poster answered that "she wears the pants and carries the pooper scooper" while another suggested that "they both proabably wear skirts."

The board tensed for a moment after prototype said that the pictures were of his sister and future brother-in-law. Tensed may have been the wrong word, as one poster wanted that to be true.

RubberMallett, a member from Illinois, posted what was the funniest post on Page 1 when he said

Its unfortunate that you don't have an overzealous RA in the class who would confront them. they were all over the place when i went there...

some turdburgler confronted me after convo one day..."um hello, yes, i saw that you had your arm around your girlfriend during convocation..." "ummm ok" " i'm an ra" "good" "don't you think thats a little innappropriate" "listen capt lonely, write me up....i could understand you sayign something if i was honkin her tatas and licking her ear.....but this is stupid....HEY ADAM THIS RA IS TELLING ME ITS INNAPROPRIATE TO RUB ARI's ARM" *from about 20 ft away* "HA!"....i then walked away...he just stood there like a retard...

This post caused one student to almost laugh out loud in class and others to remark about similar things happening to them. It should be noted that this was the first time in history that "honkin the tatas" and "turdburgler" were ever used in the same paragraph.

Page 1 was finished off by belcherboy after he said that the female in the pictures looked hot.

Thank you for reading Chapter 1 of Liberty Couples - Wimps Who Can't Man Up. Make sure to check back soon for Chapter 2.

[01LUGrad]

Wholy Krap. These threads have the potential to have a Harry Potter-type run atop the FF charts.

[DeathCab4LU]

[JDUB]

wow, this is the best! all the best quotes summarized in one place! Maybe sj can make an ebook and sell it when this is all over

[SuperJon]

I'm not doing anything involving the couple until after Monday at 1:30. I'm going to give it a break until then, just so I don't have to bust a fool. What you guys do is your own business though. I'm going to read this thread, but I'm not talking about them til it's over.

[Liberty Couples The Novel]

Liberty Couples - Wimps Who Can't Man Up

Chapter 2 - Boobage and Bad Pickup Lines


When we left Chapter 1, belcherboy was saying how the female in question looked "hot." Chapter 2 starts out with 01LUGrad reminding belcherboy that the female could look like this from the front.

The subject gets changed by cider aficionado Cider Jim when he brings up couples in the computer lab, or "C-lab" as it is affectionaly called at Liberty, who share headphones. He also asks that someone take a picture of people like that and post them on FlameFans.

JDub, ignoring Cider Jim's request, reposts the picture of the Liberty Couple and says that he saw them on the bus earlier than day. He mentions that they were "all over each other" and that it was "ridiculous." He goes on to say that "the way they look at each other makes me want to bang there heads together."

Five posts go by on the message board before SuperJon posts 12 of the next 14 posts. He says that "maybe I should just give play by play on em if I can't get a picture." Not only does he do play by play, but he eventually snaps two pictures of the couple. Some of the more memorable quotes from this section of play by play include

It's like their heads have magnets in them that force them to stare at each other. I really don't think they realize other people are in the classroom. I'm no more than ten feet away from them and I'm making fun of them, publicly, on the internet, and they have no clue.

They've gone two minutes without looking at or touching each other. I think one's about to go through withdrawel.

Wait, she looked before I finished that sentence.

During this time, SuperJon posted two pictures of the couple. The first Rocketfan said he couldn't see, but to keep the pictures coming, so SuperJon posted another. After posting the two pictures, Liberty Couples enthusiast Fumblerooskies responds with

See...the things you miss when you're not in class.

After SuperJon finished with his play by play, Knucklehead said that SuperJon had brightened his day with the thread. He then claimed that SuperJon was just jealous and asked what class he was in. Before SuperJon could respond, Rubbermallet said that in order for him to pass judgement, he needed to see "the full frontal of this girl....and a better profile shote for boobage reasons.." SuperJon then responded to Knucklehead's comment saying the he didn't want to say what class because he was afraid the professor was a lurker of the board. He also added that the girl was cute but "jealous is the furthest word from the truth." Knucklehead responded by asking if SuperJon would let her stare and rub at him if they were dating, to which SuperJon said he would let her stare but not rub.

The title of the book was Liberty Couples, so anyone was free to post a couple in the thread. A poster who calls himself "jmdickens" posted this picture about a couple that he saw in the computer lab . He said that you could catch this couple acting like this in the computer lab every Sunday around 3:30. RubberMallet suggested that the female in this picture was overweight, saying that he hoped she was printing off recipes from Weight Watchers while at the computer.

After a compliment from TDDance234 saying that SuperJon did a nice job on the play by play, thepostman said that the Liberty Couples thread was the "best thread in a while." belcherboy agreed with RubberMallett that there needed to be more pictures of her breasts, and also agreed with thepostman that this thread was "pretty cool" before bigsmooth added that he wanted more pictures of the Liberty couples.

After the post from Big Smooth, two conversations popped up at the same time. The first one came when RubberMallet accused LUconn and his "lady friend" of being pretty inseperable while in college. LUconn responded saying that they saved "these shenanigans for off campus to which RubberMallet agreed.

The second conversation started when Schfourteenteen suggested that SuperJob needed to go "go above and beyond and video these guys for about 5 minutes, and if the dude just asks you what youre doing say making an instructional video on how to reach second base during class." SuperJon said that his cell phone could record about 30 seconds. Schfourteenteen followed with

Who cares about being discrete? Use the camcorder

The best story of Chapter 2 came when thepostman shared a pick up line that a guy in the computer lab used on a girl.

Guy is talking to this girl next to me here in the computer lab...she is working on a paper...he says

"If you want, later tonight you can come over so we can fellowship....you know...up to you...but it would be cool if you could come over to my place and fellowship"

direct quote....and yes, the girl is still talking to him as we speak.....

Rocketfan pulled the "BS" emoticon and said that thepostman was either "full of it or that girl is dumber than Jessica Simpson. SuperJon suggested that she was "Parking Spaces Girl #5," a reference to a video he made on dating at Liberty entitled Parking Spaces.

Chapter 2 was ended when RagingTireFire said that

Somebody get these twerps names so we can poke the crap out of them on Facebook.

SuperJon responded with another witty one liner when he said

I'm sure he's already poking the crap out of her.

And so Chapter 2 ended. Chapter 3 delves into a conversation about whether the couple was "poking the crap" out of each other, more about the cheesy pick-up line, and many many more things so stay tuned.

[PAmedic]

fantastic.

when will the Cliff's notes version be published?

[thepostman]

this is amazing...dare I say epic???....wow....

and ps....that guy really invited that girl over to his place to "fellowship".....I forgot all about that til just now.....ahhhh memories

[Fumblerooskies]

This is legen... (wait for it)... dary

[jcmanson]

Flamefans reaches a new level.

[Fumblerooskies]

I'm not doing anything involving the couple until after Monday at 1:30. I'm going to give it a break until then, just so I don't have to bust a fool. What you guys do is your own business though. I'm going to read this thread, but I'm not talking about them til it's over.

I think that is a very wise move, Supe. There is no need in upsetting the apple cart and exacerbating things. Better to lay low. As an LU faculty member...I wholeheartedly endorse the route you are now taking.

[bucksweepjax]

This is an absolute classic!

[Jim Nance]

More about the boobies, more about the boobies!!

Crap, I forgot this is an open forum. Hopefully CBS won't get involved with the "Lynchburg Life."

[SuperJon]

This is legen... (wait for it)... dary

Perfect How I Met Your Mother reference.

[Fumblerooskies]

This is legen... (wait for it)... dary

Perfect How I Met Your Mother reference.

Thanks...I've only been watching the show for a few weeks.

[SuperJon]

It's such a good show.

[Fumblerooskies]

Yes it is...but I read this past week is the last original for that AND Two and a Half Men until after the strike.

(now...get to class and behave your self)

[SuperJon]

I'm already in class and I'm behaving. Not saying a word. Laughing hysterically in my head, but not saying a word.

[givemethemic]

I swung by class on Wednesday before the big test and it was sick!!!! 3 months into the semester and he still wears the ugliest looking shirts I have seen before and for the record I don't think she was very good looking....

[Fumblerooskies]

I swung by class on Wednesday before the big test and it was sick!!!! 3 months into the semester and he still wears the ugliest looking shirts I have seen before and for the record I don't think she was very good looking....

I've seen your lady...and you have very high standards.

[givemethemic]

I appreciate that... I am a very lucky man and feel forunate to be with such a great girl

[Fumblerooskies]

I appreciate that... I am a very lucky man and feel forunate to be with such a great girl

Says the guy who dates the girl who's dad reads this.