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Badgering bad guys isn't a willy-nilly free-for-all. There are rules, particularly if you want to make an impact. Behold, the tenets of taunt.
(1) DO THY HOMEWORK
First assignment: Read "Doing Thy Homework."
DOING THY HOMEWORK
Heed the advice of experts such as Rob Szasz and Zach White. Chances are you've heard Szasz even if you haven't heard of him. His voice is the one blaring through your TV when you watch Rays games. Szasz has spent the past six seasons perched behind the visitors' on-deck circle at the Trop, adhering to one golden rule: Be an educated fan. Each series, he picks one—and only one—opposing hitter to ridicule. In the World Series, he went after Ryan Howard, going so far as to research former Philly first baseman John Kruk's stats. He used those numbers to hector Howard with constant comparisons, concluding: "Kruk's choking on his cheesesteak. You'd better get a hit." The result? Howard hit just .222 in Tampa without a homer or an RBI. Back in Szasz-less Philly, he hit .333 with three dingers and 6 RBIs. At Duke, White, a junior, spends hours searching the web for irritating nuggets about foes, which he gives to the Cameron Crazies on cheer sheets. His fliers have included Tyler Hansbrough's affinity for pedicures and lyrics for a song mocking Montana coach Wayne Tinkle (sung to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"). "Players always get booed," says White, "but they don't always hear their third-grade teacher's name while they're shooting a jump shot." And when they do, they're no doubt reminded of homework, which is hated by everyone. Except hecklers.
(2) THOU SHALT VALUE QUIET TIME
It's not a good heckle unless someone hears it, so wait for the din to diminish. "The best time is during pregame warmups," White says. Other prime moments include free throws, time-outs and all three hours of a Pirates home game.
(3) THOU SHALT PROJECT
"It helps to have a loud voice," says famed Maryland-based hoops heckler Robin Ficker. For those not blessed with powerful pipes, here are a handful of hints to help your heckles hit home:
Play the name game: According to an auditory phenomenon known as the Cocktail Party Effect (you've experienced it if your attention has been drawn to the sound of your name in a noisy room), the most effective attention-getter is simply yelling a player's name. Says Laurie Heller, a cognitive science prof at Brown, "They can't help but respond."
Crank up the bass: "Low-frequency sounds travel farther," says William Clark, a hearing scientist at Washington University's School of Medicine. High-pitched voice? Feed your lines to a nearby basso profundo.
Value your vowels: There's a reason "ah" is the syllable of choice when it comes to rattling freshman guards and QBs in the red zone. Back-of-the-throat vowel sounds (ah, uh and ooh) have the lowest frequency, at about 300 Hz, while sounds like "s" hover in the 4,000 Hz range. "You're awful" might not sound as macho as "You suck," but it'll reach its target more effectively.
The Ten Commandments of Heckling Bonus Content
• A Brief History of Heckling
• Clip Reel: Fans Behaving Badly
• Three true stories of fans being arrested at games
(4) THOU SHALT NOT SWEAR
"If you have to explain it to your kids," Szasz says, "don't say it."
(5) HONOR THY OFFICIALS
Says Ficker: "They're just trying to do their job." Then again, so are jocks. Difference is, refs don't get paid enough to deal with you. Save your energy for opposing players.
(6) DISHONOR THY ROOKIES
There's no substitute for experience, so newbies struggle most with distractions. Says Andrew Jacobs, a sports psychologist for the Royals: "The younger the players, the more sensitive they tend to be."
(7) THOU SHALT NOT SLUR
"The really annoying guys are the ones who are drunk beyond recognition," says Titans kicker Rob Bironas. Annoying? Good. Incomprehensible? Not so much.
(8) THOU SHALT NOT SLUR PART II
Read this: former Rockets guard Vernon Maxwell was suspended in 1995 for punching a fan, but can you blame him? Maxwell claimed the spectator made a crack about his stillborn daughter (though it was never proved). Comments about tragedies cross the line, as do racial and sexual slurs. Still, shades of gray exist. "Everybody has a breaking point," says Jacobs. "For most people, that point is when you start talking about their family." Szasz draws his line at families, but Ficker (who once taunted former NBA journeyman Lewis Lloyd by reminding him about delinquent child-support payments) has a different take. "If it's public record, it's not offensive," he says. Then again, Ficker's an attorney.
(9) THOU SHALT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
Forget about sweeping the leg, Lawrence. Go for the funny bone. Players from across the sports spectrum say humor is the easiest way to grab their attention. "We get 'You suck' and 'Wide left' all the time," says Bironas, "so we don't even notice. If you want us to hear you, say something funny." Perhaps something like the anecdote Bruins wing Shawn Thornton shared: "My favorite heckle had nothing to do with me. It happened in the Western Hockey League, where a player named Rob Skrlac had an oversize cranium. Somebody held up a sign that said, 'What would you rather have, a million dollars or Skrlac's helmet full of nickels?' It's legendary—players still talk about that."
(10) THOU SHALT STAY IN THE MOMENT
Homework helps, but one of the Crazies brings a giant dry erase board—an instant cheer sheet—to home games for a reason. Put simply, if a guy has 12 turnovers in the first half, then steps to the line, the Crazies might…um…mention it.
BONUSES!
EVER WONDER HOW TO…(ALMOST) GET IN THE BOX SCORE?
Chants, songs and signs don't do it for you? Need to actually palpate the pill to feel you're making a difference? Luckily for you, there's baseball. Of the major sports, the national pastime is by far the most interactive. "There's something very empowering about fan interference," says Zack Hample, the author of How to Snag Major League Baseballs. "Not only can you actually influence the outcome of the game, you can prove your athleticism." His top tips:
Bring your glove
If you're going to interfere, you'd better make the play. Right, Bartman?
Pick the right park
Fenway offers the lowest home run fence (3.42 feet in rightfield), followed by Dodger Stadium (3.50 in LF and RF) and Petco Park (4.0 in LF).
"Players always get booed, but they don't always hear their third-grade teacher's name while they're shooting a jump shot."
Choose your seat wisely
According to Berkeley physics prof Bob Jacobsen, the best place to scoop up a ball that lands in fair territory is halfway between third base and the leftfield foul pole. There, you can easily reach over the railing to grab the ball. The result: ground-rule double. And make sure you have an aisle seat, says Jacobsen: "If you're pressed between Bubba and his 400-pound cousin, you don't have much wiggle room to make a play."
EVER WONDER HOW TO…DEFEND A FREE THROW?
You know those CRAZED college hoops fans behind the basket, the ones wildly waving their arms as if they were stranded on a desert island and trying to attract the attention of a search vessel? Turns out, in trying to distract the shooter, they're missing the mark.
"Dynamic random motion is like white noise on a TV," says David Whitney, a visual scientist at UC Davis. "It's easy to tune out." Harder to ignore is something called manual following response. "If you stand in a blizzard and reach for your car door," explains Whitney, "your hand will get dragged in the direction you perceive the snow to be blowing."The best way to create MFR is to use synchronized motions of a high-contrast background that resembles zebra stripes. "If you had fans dressed in all white alternating with fans dressed in all black, and everyone stepped in one direction simultaneously," says Whitney, "we'd expect that free throws would tend to err in that direction." The movement has to be simultaneous, and it has to happen a quarter-second before the shooter pulls the trigger. To a true-blue heckler, the extra work is well worth the effort if there's a chance an opponent will brick a game-tying shot.
Sly Fox wrote:In my experience with the Falwell family over the past 30+ years, they have never been shy about stating what they believe and standing by it. If anything it should be on their family crest.
That's basically our rule book. Everything it said is what we do. We know if we can get a player laughing we've got him. We leave the refs alone until they really start screwing up. We will joke with them before the game though.
Who can forget last year's chant about "Mary had a little lamb"?
"If Cider hit the books any harder, they'd press charges"--Lefty
"When you’re right you’re right"--Purple
"I shall not participate in many discussions..." --Fumble (1961-2009), RIP
Rice started using some of the physics and perception concepts to distract free throw shooters a number of years ago. They don't have every other student in a different color but they do the last second swing. And you would be surprised how well it works. They also do an organized movement sometimes while the shooter is just starting to train their eyes on the basket. Smart fans can be very creative when they put their educations to work. And they don't get much smarter than the Rice kids.
I had CR Thompson laughing....wait, no he wasnt...I ended up getting thrown out of the game
Sly Fox wrote:In my experience with the Falwell family over the past 30+ years, they have never been shy about stating what they believe and standing by it. If anything it should be on their family crest.
Hold My Own wrote:I had CR Thompson laughing....wait, no he wasnt...I ended up getting thrown out of the game
Ha, ha.........I didn't know that you know CR.
Yeah...got a ton of CR stories...my dad grew up with him but he only knows me from being absolutely brutal behind the plate and I make sure he knows it....and yeah, he threw me out of a LU game last year
Sly Fox wrote:In my experience with the Falwell family over the past 30+ years, they have never been shy about stating what they believe and standing by it. If anything it should be on their family crest.
Interesting U-Tube video, Sly. Does anyone know if our Eagle has ever gotten tossed out of a game?
"If Cider hit the books any harder, they'd press charges"--Lefty
"When you’re right you’re right"--Purple
"I shall not participate in many discussions..." --Fumble (1961-2009), RIP
A few have come close, but none have been tossed that comes to mind...I know a few Ref's took offense to some of our eagles antics (the dummy ref comes to mind) but we really havent had to many recently that try to push their luck (unfortunately)
Sly Fox wrote:In my experience with the Falwell family over the past 30+ years, they have never been shy about stating what they believe and standing by it. If anything it should be on their family crest.
Cider Jim wrote:Interesting U-Tube video, Sly. Does anyone know if our Eagle has ever gotten tossed out of a game?
Yes, indeed.
Your Eagle got tossed 10-15 years ago in a game against UNCA while I was there... it may have been a tourney game...not sure if it was the RD year or a couple of years before. He got into it with the Bulldog mascot (a girl) and actually pummeled her pretty good...on top of getting into it with refs. He was booted. The clown was a real jerk, too. It was the closest I ever game to getting into an altercation.
Fumble, you almost took on LU? (that was the name of our eagle before JB named him "Sparky"). Seeing a UNCA trainer body slam our eagle would have been...priceless.
"If Cider hit the books any harder, they'd press charges"--Lefty
"When you’re right you’re right"--Purple
"I shall not participate in many discussions..." --Fumble (1961-2009), RIP
Cider Jim wrote:Interesting U-Tube video, Sly. Does anyone know if our Eagle has ever gotten tossed out of a game?
Yes, indeed.
Your Eagle got tossed 10-15 years ago in a game against UNCA while I was there... it may have been a tourney game...not sure if it was the RD year or a couple of years before. He got into it with the Bulldog mascot (a girl) and actually pummeled her pretty good...on top of getting into it with refs. He was booted. The clown was a real jerk, too. It was the closest I ever game to getting into an altercation.
The VMI Kangaroo was escorted back to the other side of the track this year by the sheriff at the game at VMI because him and sparky got into it and sparky ended up pulling his tail. it was quite funny!
- By Tothehoopyall1
- By TH Spangler