- December 24th, 2007, 1:20 am
#140085
I fell asleep in Transformers. That is not a joke, nor an exaggeration nor a prevarication. Transformers was quite easily the loudest movie I've ever been to but, at this point, I've trained my body to go to sleep whenever I'm watching anything less entertaining than 'Dora, the Explorer'. I'm serious. Aside from the hot Fox -- and she really isn't even that hot -- I have no idea what THE #*@&! anyone saw in this movie.
Other good naps:
Spiderman 3 (It was really no dumber than the first two and, yet, it was somehow so very very bad. I think Topher Grace should shave his head at this point and start over playing skinhead drug addicts or something.)
Superbad (if they'd said the word "McLovin'!" 600 more times, it might have made up for the rest of the movie)
Number 23 (Worst. Ending. Ever.)
Ocean's Thirteen (The magic number was clearly 11. Things got unlucky waaaay before we got to 13.)
The Fantastic Four w/ the Matrix Surfer Dude (Surfer? Check. Fantastic? Not so much.)
The Last Mimzy (fortunately, it was, indeed, the last one)
'Smokin Aces' (believe it or not, the thing that makes the absolute least amount of sense in this movie is all the way at the very end)
I stayed awake during the 'Simpsons Movie' but only b/c I was waiting for it to get as funny as it is on TV. I later figured out that they took the same number of jokes from a 30-minute episode and just spread them out over an hour and a half. I suppose the laughs-per-dollar ratio was very high.
Just OK:
'Blades of Glory'
'Zodiac'
'Premonition'
'Bridge to Terabithia'
On the other hand:
Bourne was good, as usual.
Can't recommend 'Balls of Fury' hard enough. It was quite furious.
'Die Hard 87' -- or whatever # it was -- was surprisingly good.
Also '300'.
'1408' was good. This is actually one of those movies where the movie is better than the book.
'Hot Fuzz' was frappin' awesome.
'Disturbia' was a fairly good takeoff on Rear Window. It nearly made me forgive the Kid With the Unpronouncable Name for the Transformers fiasco.
Also 'Accepted'. Jonah Hill being in 'Accepted' was, in fact, the only reason I took a chance on 'Superbad'. I should have just watched 'Accepted' twice. Which I later did.
Is this mercy-killing or cross-pollenation?
Only the strawberry knows.
--Fumble (1961-2009), RIP
- By LU Armchair coach