A Sea Of Red

Just because I think we need one and Im bored, Im making a joke thread. I doubt this will work either because someone posts a dirty joke or no one will even care, but I enjoy a good laugh so if you hear a CLEAN funny joke post it here!



GO!
and I will start...

Wanna hear a good joke? Womens Rights.


See... Funny, Clean and ITS A JOKE so dont yell at me!

Two muffins are sitting in a oven. One says... "Man it's hot in here." and then the other says "OH MY GOODNESS A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

---

A guy walks into a bar and sits down and starts eating some of the peanuts, when all of a sudden one of them says "Hey, nice haircut dude." He goes to the bartender kinda freaked out and says "One of your peanuts just told me I had a nice haircut" and the barkeep replied "Oh it's okay, they're complimentary."

Duke Football!

WSET

Knucklehead wrote:Duke

FTFY

And football in the entire state of NC, except for the juggernaut in Boone.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

JDUB wrote:WSET

Floor slapping!

coverage of LU sports

So after months of begging a father finally decided to take his young son hunting. When they arrived, the father told the son "stay here by this tree, be still, and no matter what happens be quiet." So the boy stayed there while the father went to his spot. He was quiet for quite a while and then he let out a bloodcurdling scream that scared off any animal for 10 miles. The father came over discusted, and asked the boy why he had disobeyed him. The boy said "Dad, I did my best. When the Bear breathed down my neck, I was OK and quiet. When the Rattlesnake slithered across my legs I was good and quiet too. But when the 2 chipmunks ran up my pantleg and I heard one of them say, 'do we eat them here or take them with us' thats all I could take".

HAHA

JDUB wrote:coverage of LU sports

WOJO

Knucklehead wrote:

JDUB wrote:coverage of LU sports

WOJO

i was gonna keep names out of it, but since you went there... DC

A Filipino guy enters the United States for the first time, looks around, and says to the first person, "this is a great country! Thank you so much for being a beacon of freedom!" But the first guy says, "sorry sir, I'm not an American, I'm from Yemen."

The Filipino guy keeps walking down the street, beaming with happiness, and finds a second guy. He tells him, "This is a great country! Thank you so much for being a beacon of freedom!" But the second guy says, "sorry sir, I'm not an American, I'm Russian."

The Filipino guy is still happy, so he goes to another person and tells him about how great America is. The third guy says "sorry sir, I'm not American. I'm Spanish."

Finally, the Filipino guy gets a little miffed, so he says "well, where the heck are all the Americans?"

The Spanish guy looks at his watch and says, "probably at work."

Knucklehead wrote:So after months of begging a father finally decided to take his young son hunting. When they arrived, the father told the son "stay here by this tree, be still, and no matter what happens be quiet." So the boy stayed there while the father went to his spot. He was quiet for quite a while and then he let out a bloodcurdling scream that scared off any animal for 10 miles. The father came over discusted, and asked the boy why he had disobeyed him. The boy said "Dad, I did my best. When the Bear breathed down my neck, I was OK and quiet. When the Rattlesnake slithered across my legs I was good and quiet too. But when the 2 chipmunks ran up my pantleg and I heard one of them say, 'do we eat them here or take them with us' thats all I could take".

HAHA

JDUB wrote:

Knucklehead wrote:

JDUB wrote:coverage of LU sports

WOJO

i was gonna keep names out of it, but since you went there... DC

I'm done

The quality of education I'm getting via DLP...

then quit paying for it. I get like 100 popup ads for DLP schools a day so I know LU doesn't have a monopoly.

Ok, this may be deleated but it is still funny:

Two guys walk into a bar in West Virginia. The one guy says to the other "If I have sex with your wife and we have a kid, will that make us kin?" "No" the other reply's "But it will make us even"

Purple Haize wrote:Ok, this may be deleated but it is still funny:

Two guys walk into a bar in West Virginia. The one guy says to the other "If I have sex with your wife and we have a kid, will that make us kin?" "No" the other reply's "But it will make us even"

LUconn wrote:then quit paying for it. I get like 100 popup ads for DLP schools a day so I know LU doesn't have a monopoly.

That sounds like a great idea. Drop out when I'm graduating in December and start fresh with another school...

Why did the woman cross the road??

i don't know either, her butt should be in the kitchen

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

It's easier to negotiate with the terrorist.

JDUB's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

The CFAWs are coming! The CFAWs are coming! (Where is Paul Revere when you need him?)

I guess that explains why hotel prices this weekend are through the roof.