A Sea Of Red

I had one simple responsibility. While the wife is away, I had to drain the potatoes and put them into the stew. That's it. She even joked to her mother, who created the original recipe for the stew, that I was going to intentionally screw it up so that she wouldn't ask me to do these things in the future.

So... the oven timer goes off, and I drain the concoction that she created, and then I realized -- hmm... no potatoes there. Just meat. Whatever. So... I put it back onto the stove. Guess she forgot about the potatoes.

A few minutes later, in the middle of video game playing, I go to get a drink -- and there are the potatoes, soaking in water. Ohhh crap. So, I drained those, put them into the dried stew... panicked, tried calling her, panicked, added beef broth, panicked, called her best friend who told me to add water, panicked, and then called her mother. She told me to try to re-add the ingredients, told me that the beef broth was a good call, and told me not to say anything. She said it wasn't going to be as good, but we could still "hope".

But I'm screwed. Women have a sixth sense for these things... I've had to prep for being on radio in front of 50,000 people before, and yet, the fear I had going into that situation isn't anywhere close to the fear I have right now, waiting for the wife to return home, to discover that I ruined Sunday dinner.

Funny post and scary at the same time. Been there several times. Now just tell her you've written about it here. That will make her feel better.

Priceless.

Why hasn't she come back yet? I've been dry-heaving for the last 90 minutes...

Thanks for sharing, Ed--very funny!

ed dude i'm crying cause i'm laughing so hard! but you aren't totally screwed women like diamonds. i hear jared closes at 8 if you hurry you might be able to get her a rock that might make her forget ruined dinner. and to be on the safe side make it two carats.

Ed Dantes wrote:Why hasn't she come back yet? I've been dry-heaving for the last 90 minutes...

You think that has more with you re-living the last two weeks of the baseball season?

p.s the first post ed made is my nominee for best single post of the year.

Ed Dantes wrote:Why hasn't she come back yet? I've been dry-heaving for the last 90 minutes...

HAHAHAHAHA Seriously, this is the best thread of the year hands down and nothing the rest of 2008 will be able to top it. I haven't heard anything this funny in YEARS i believe.

I just e-mailed the text of Ed's two posts to everyone I know. hahahaha

Absolutely hilarious!

2 hours later and still no word from Ed. I must live pretty close to him. Maybe I should check on the guy.

Okay okay okay... I'm alive. When she had gotten home, she was so relieved to see me because she had gotten lost and was near-empty on gas. I went on the offensive immediately, jokingly telling her that I was stressing about if I added the carrots at the right time. She gave the stew a taste, thought it tasted a little good (but was a little liquid-y), and was none-the-wiser.

(I'll tell her the truth later).

In other words, kids, really think you have all your bases covered before you get married.

Ed Dantes wrote:
In other words, kids, really think you have all your bases covered before you get married.

.........because when you screw up you dont get to cover all the bases when you get married?

Schfourteenteen wrote:

Ed Dantes wrote:
In other words, kids, really think you have all your bases covered before you get married.

.........because when you screw up you dont get to cover all the bases when you get married?

Winner.

nice work ed!!

Classic

She probably knew something was wrong and has told her mother that she couldn't believe you didn't fess up to her.

One way or the other, you better come up large on Thursday.

agreed ^^^

she knows everything and you're a dead man.

In fact, she was probably at a Starbucks, reading up on you while you were posting like a crazy man

The next time I feel like I'm missing out by not being married, I'm going to read this post.

BTW: I would like to add that I know that fear well.

"they" (who shall remain nameless) can smell fear. Act brave.

PAmedic wrote:she knows everything

I don't know how but "they" always do. It's like some sort of sixth sense.

I have come to learn that much of that "sense" is their familiarity with patterns of behavior.

What are you trying to say, Sly? I'm an angel