Page 1 of 1

Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 11:11 am
by PAmedic
nothing more needs to be said. Contact the blue hose faithful with any questions, I guess.

Image

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 12:07 pm
by Libertine
If you haven't done this before, you should be warned that the cost of shipping a goat overseas is ridiculous and most of them just end up wandering around the docks anyway. You're better off just buying the goat a plane ticket. Most airlines will allow this but they will make you pay for the goat's meal up front as well as its' headphones for the in-flight movie.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 12:27 pm
by PAmedic
hmm. thanks for the note of caution.

is 1st class seating available or coach only?

I'm also concerned about vegetarian meals.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 12:39 pm
by Cider Jim
I'm confused: do they milk the goat or eat the goat? :dontgetit

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 12:42 pm
by PAmedic
I'd say "B"

the kid holding the goat looks like his teeth are pretty sharp

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 2:33 pm
by Libertine
Cider Jim wrote:I'm confused: do they milk the goat or eat the goat? :dontgetit
This is all explained in the pamphlet when you sign up. Initially, they will milk the goat (assuming, of course, that it's female). If it's a male goat and/or they get tired of milking it, they will try to "put it out to stud" with other compatible goats in an attempt to make a small flock. If that doesn't work, they will attempt to mate it with any available compatible species (ie., sheep, muskrats, small bears, etc.,). Eventually, when the goat's life expectancy has been reached (6-8 weeks), they will kill it and preserve the meat in it's best possible form, namely goat bacon.

To answer your question, Medic, I've never flown a goat first-class. There's no sense in wasting money. It's business-class or below.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 2:54 pm
by Hold My Own
There has been a LU Football player who would sacrifice and then eat the goat at a family wedding b/c it's part of their culture.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 2:55 pm
by Cider Jim
Libertine wrote:Initially, they will milk the goat (assuming, of course, that it's female).
Remembering the dialogue in the Meet the Parents movie about milking cats. :lol:

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 4:11 pm
by flamehunter
http://www.gfa.org/giving/christmas/


How about a water buffalo? First class or economy?

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 8:31 pm
by Kolzilla41
I nominate this for post of the year.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 21st, 2009, 9:48 pm
by Libertine
flamehunter wrote:http://www.gfa.org/giving/christmas/


How about a water buffalo? First class or economy?
Water buffalo has to go either first-class or you have to buy two regular seats. That's a bit discriminatory in my opinion but it doesn't really matter since water buffalo are notoriously temperamental and very few actually get past the TSA checkpoint without going nuts and having to be put down. By the way, water buffalo steaks are not as good as you'd think they might be.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 22nd, 2009, 11:38 am
by PAmedic
I don't see why TSA would be an issue, as long as the WB is not carrying, and declared everything.

I blame liberals.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 22nd, 2009, 11:52 am
by Libertine
As a general rule, water buffalo very much do not like getting electromagnetic wands waved around in their crotchal areas. There have been a few minor stampedes and gorings, especially during the religious holiday season when nerves are stretched to begin with. As a result, DHS and TSA tend to "profile" them. A water buffalo trying to get on a plane at Christmastime may as well be wearing an oversized vest, carrying matches and answer to the name of Sheik Muhammed Dynamiti. Even if it's completely docile and manages to moo affirmatively to all the right questions, it is simply not going to be allowed onboard.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 22nd, 2009, 12:45 pm
by TDDance234
Libertine wrote:As a general rule, water buffalo very much do not like getting electromagnetic wands waved around in their crotchal areas. There have been a few minor stampedes and gorings, especially during the religious holiday season when nerves are stretched to begin with. As a result, DHS and TSA tend to "profile" them. A water buffalo trying to get on a plane at Christmastime may as well be wearing an oversized vest, carrying matches and answer to the name of Sheik Muhammed Dynamiti. Even if it's completely docile and manages to moo affirmatively to all the right questions, it is simply not going to be allowed onboard.
:clapping

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 22nd, 2009, 2:23 pm
by flamehunter
Libertine wrote:.. very few actually get past the TSA checkpoint without going nuts and having to be put down.
That's amazing! What are they using to put them down with? Why, just the other evening I watched Buck McNeely put a .416 slug between the eyes of an old bull at close range and he still had to put a couple of insurance shots into it to finish the job. I didn't realize TSA carried that kind of firepower!

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 22nd, 2009, 5:16 pm
by Libertine
flamehunter wrote:
Libertine wrote:.. very few actually get past the TSA checkpoint without going nuts and having to be put down.
That's amazing! What are they using to put them down with?
Their own body odor. TSA agents are rationed a diet high in olive oil and curry for this exact reason. It's also no accident that they wear sweaters year round.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 22nd, 2009, 6:03 pm
by flamesfilmguy
This should be a nomination for thread of the year.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 12:31 am
by SumItUp
Are we really making fun of a program that provides for someone's needs? :oops: My understanding is the goats generally come from the country of destination and are given to families that have need. WorldVision is not on the top of my list for charities, but we have given to this program before. Most of us live pampered lives. While I don't know most of you on this board, I have read enough posts to know that you are not worried about your next meal.

If I'm missing something about the WorldVision program, please enlighten me. I ask in all seriousness.

Thread of the year?? :shock:

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 7:35 am
by PAmedic
Libertine wrote:As a general rule, water buffalo very much do not like getting electromagnetic wands waved around in their crotchal areas. There have been a few minor stampedes and gorings, especially during the religious holiday season when nerves are stretched to begin with. As a result, DHS and TSA tend to "profile" them. A water buffalo trying to get on a plane at Christmastime may as well be wearing an oversized vest, carrying matches and answer to the name of Sheik Muhammed Dynamiti. Even if it's completely docile and manages to moo affirmatively to all the right questions, it is simply not going to be allowed onboard.
I'm starting to think you may be making some of this stuff up. I've never heard of the term "crotchal area"

Now I'm not sure what to believe.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 7:42 am
by flamehunter
PAmedic wrote:
Libertine wrote:As a general rule, water buffalo very much do not like getting electromagnetic wands waved around in their crotchal areas. There have been a few minor stampedes and gorings, especially during the religious holiday season when nerves are stretched to begin with. As a result, DHS and TSA tend to "profile" them. A water buffalo trying to get on a plane at Christmastime may as well be wearing an oversized vest, carrying matches and answer to the name of Sheik Muhammed Dynamiti. Even if it's completely docile and manages to moo affirmatively to all the right questions, it is simply not going to be allowed onboard.
I'm starting to think you may be making some of this stuff up. I've never heard of the term "crotchal area"

Now I'm not sure what to believe.
Actually, the water buffalo has two crotchal areas - frontal and posterior. I would imagine the posterior area is the more sensitive one.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 7:53 am
by flamehunter
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/420841/si ... falo_song/

This is probably the only chance I'll ever have to post this link so here it is.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 4:43 pm
by Cider Jim
I read this update on Facebook today from an old high school friend & LU alum:
Jet Atkinson. Water Buffalo shirts available at the Cotton Connection. Get your last minute stocking stuffers right here and help a fam in India with a new tractor.
.

That's the place right beside Texas Inn.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 4:46 pm
by Kolzilla41
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 5:50 pm
by Libertine
flamehunter wrote: Actually, the water buffalo has two crotchal areas - frontal and posterior. I would imagine the posterior area is the more sensitive one.
This is correct on both counts. The posterior area is more physically sensitive but the frontal crotchal area (a valid term, look it up) has two small fleshy pocket areas on it much like a couple of very small kangaroo pouches. Depending on their culture, these pockets are where the water buffalo store small bits of food for later consumption. In southeast Asia, these "snacks" are usually bamboo shoots, rice patties or small servings of spiced chicken. In America, however, this pocket often contains smokeless tobacco.

Re: Give a Goat this Christmas

Posted: December 23rd, 2009, 6:23 pm
by Kolzilla41
I have heard reports that near native american casinos, they have been know to store poker chips and firewater containers in the dry season.